Monday, August 14, 2017

Not Alone

There are so many times when we just don't know what to say so we say nothing OR we stick our foot in our mouth and unintentionally hurt others.  I know it's been a while since I've discussed our loss & our season of infertility, but that doesn't mean that it is out of my mind.  I think of it on a daily basis & I miss my sweet baby that has already gone to heaven.  It is a part of my life forever and while I still struggle with it, even with 2 earthly children, it doesn't hold me back as much anymore. (More on our infertility journey here)

Before infertility, it never occurred to me that people may be smiling on the outside but dealing with a painful, soul-crushing loss on the inside until I was one of those people. I am now hyper aware of other’s feelings and forgiving of people’s shortcomings because I realize that they may be fighting a silent battle too.  Just like I was putting on that fake smile, many others do that as well, offer them grace and mercy.

In the past, I always wanted to stop and fix pain, rather than hug people and to tell them it was ok that they were hurting. Now, when people experience pain I tell them that they hurt because what happened mattered. Having experienced pain that seemed so meaningless and feeling “dumb” for being sad for what could have been but never was, I can understand that sometimes pain just needs to sit because it represents what was important to us but is now gone.

I saw this video and I just have to share it with you.  I know this is a commercial, but it is the sweetest illustration of just being present for someone else.  In a world filled with hurt that you may or may not understand, you just need to sit there.  And just be.
 
xoxo Darby

2 comments :

Nadine said...

Oh my goodness, that commercial has me tearing up over here. You are so right, just because someone might put on a smile for others...we never know what they may be fighting. Compassion is everything.

StephTheBookworm said...

Thank you for posting this and for sharing that amazing video. With Caleb, we literally got pregnant the first month we tried... and now I know how much we took that for granted. We started TTC #2 in December, then had our ectopic and loss in February. Month after month since then, I've felt like that woman in the video... all the negative tests I have to throw away and not even expecting them to be positive anymore. I know there are so many women who are struggling way worse than I am too. But the thing is, we all have our own feelings and our own struggles. I think as women, and mothers, and want to be mothers, all we can and should do is be there for each other. <3

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