Before infertility, it never occurred to me that people may be smiling on the outside but dealing with a painful, soul-crushing loss on the inside until I was one of those people. I am now hyper aware of other’s feelings and forgiving of people’s shortcomings because I realize that they may be fighting a silent battle too. Just like I was putting on that fake smile, many others do that as well, offer them grace and mercy.
In the past, I always wanted to stop and fix pain, rather than hug people and to tell them it was ok that they were hurting. Now, when people experience pain I tell them that they hurt because what happened mattered. Having experienced pain that seemed so meaningless and feeling “dumb” for being sad for what could have been but never was, I can understand that sometimes pain just needs to sit because it represents what was important to us but is now gone.
I saw this video and I just have to share it with you. I know this is a commercial, but it is the sweetest illustration of just being present for someone else. In a world filled with hurt that you may or may not understand, you just need to sit there. And just be.