Hi I’m Darby and I’m an accidental homeschooler.
Homeschooling was never on my radar as something that I would even consider as
an option for our family. In fact, I'm
ashamed to admit, but growing up I was guilty of maintaining a lot of the stereotypes
regarding homeschooling families. And
here I am now with two little ones (ages 3 & 4 in preschool and kindergarten) that I love homeschooling,
and a huge enthusiast and advocate of homeschooling. Isn't the Lord funny like that? ;-) And I must admit, that my preconceived notions,
were WRONG!
While I never expected to be a homeschooling family, the careers
of my husband and I didn't either. We
are a homeschooling family where both parents work full-time. We are an anomaly
and I'm okay with that because it works for us.
How does this full-time working family also homeschool? We juggle. We
struggle. We juggle some more. We communicate. We are flexible. We pray.
We are continually reaffirmed in our decisions to homeschool. Let me share with you
how we are making this work for us.
(Disclaimer: I'm not saying that our way is
the right way, or the only way. I only
express this as what is working for us right now. It might change, but for now, this is how we
are managing).
We entertained the idea of homeschooling, and ultimately made
the decision to homeschool our children, because we wanted control over
curriculum where Jesus was taught, to enable deep thinkers, to linger over
subjects, and the flexibility of time both in and out of the "classroom". I was also a bit discouraged with the industrial
education system, but I am not opening that can of worms today. To cultivate a culture of learning while
working full-time, we have firm boundaries; we say "no" to a lot of extra stuff
so that we can say "yes" to the learning lifestyle in our home. We feel called to this lifestyle so we do not
feel guilty about putting this mission field above all other things. We school non-traditionally throughout the week,
and sometimes Saturdays. If we’re not
schooling, we take a field trip on Saturdays, but always rest on Sundays. Because we have such flexibility, we also
school throughout the summer. I thought
initially my kids wouldn’t like that, but it turns out, we all appreciate the structure and atmosphere of year-round schooling.
Our approach to
homeschooling is, what I would call, a hodgepodge: a combination of Charlotte
Mason, Montessori, Classical, and Waldorf. I tend to lean more towards the
natural side as far as units & manipulatives. I typically choose natural
fibers over plastics or sounds. I like to leave a lot of room for the
imagination to blossom. And, of course, I turn to books and I schedule in a lot
of time for reading. Scheduling all of
this was a little overwhelming at first, but we have established our rhythm and
I will share with you what is working for us now, though always subject to
change, and I
still have so much to learn.
My husband works in the oil and gas industry and works very long
hours. I am a university professor with
an unusual schedule. While I do work
full-time, I do not work traditional hours, which provides me flexibility with my
time. Every morning I am up at 6 am,
to get myself ready for the day, prep breakfast, read something for myself, and
answer emails. The kids get up at 8 am,
are dressed, and head to the kitchen for breakfast. During breakfast I read the Bible, we
practice our memory verse, sing a hymn, and then read a story for something
that we are learning about. These
activities are standard for every morning, but from this point on, our days
differ.
When I am at the university during the week, we have someone at home with our children. We call this recess. After breakfast and our standard activities,
the kids play a lot and are outside.
When I get home, we eat and then have what we call Book Day. In our home, Book Days include getting into my
bed, or curled up on a blanket on the living room floor, and spending the
afternoon reading aloud over piles of books pertaining to whatever we are
learning at the time (insects, music, the solar system, etc.) or just something
that we really enjoy. Our Book Days are
very relaxed and do not include a single worksheet, just books, discussions, and sometimes tea. This has worked well for us
because it is scheduled time for reading that reinforces the content we are
covering. We all expect those afternoons
and look forward to them.
On other days when I'm not at the university in the morning,
after breakfast we have Morning Basket.
This basket isn't really a basket anymore. It used to be, but now it is more like a
bunch of activities that are sprawled out on the kitchen counter for me to
quickly grab that I set up the night before. While still at the
breakfast table, we spend 1-2 hours going over activities that are mostly
review, fun, hands-on, and highly engaging activities (mostly from our book
club subscription or pertaining to a current event or holiday). Each child has their own activities but we
are all working together. Around 10:30 am
the kids get up to have some free play while I clean up the kitchen from
breakfast and morning "basket".
Around 11:15 am we have Book Time.
This is always on the living room floor around a bowl of popcorn. First, I read a picture book aloud to the
kids, and then we have quiet reading time with our own stack of books. I set a timer for 10 minutes for quiet
reading time. When the timer goes off,
if we’re all still okay (with our little wiggles) we keep going. When I first started this exercise, I did
small 5-minute increments (because, toddlers), but now we do 10-15 minutes, and
usually go up to about 50 minutes of quiet reading together. We do this about 3x a week. I like this because I actually get to read,
my kids get to SEE me reading, & they get quiet time to flip through their
own books.
After our reading time, my youngest goes down for her nap, and
then I work one-on-one with my son in our school room. This is the time during the week where new
concepts are introduced, where we work on language arts (phonics, reading, handwriting,
word families, comprehension, sight words, etc.), math (comparisons,
addition/subtraction, time, money, counting, etc.), science (the solar system,
life cycle of a frog, nature exploration, etc.), social studies (the pledge,
geography, etc.), and the arts (music & art). Around 3pm,
he goes to my bed for a quiet time, where he will sleep, rest, or read a
book. I quickly clean up his schooling, and pull
out what I have prepped for my youngest. She is only 3, so her schooling right now revolves
around a book and we cover numbers, phonics, & art mostly. A lot of her school is hands-on and
active. Right now, schooling for my
kids, and introducing new concepts is conducted one-on-one. I know that will not always be the case, but
that works best for us right now.
After rest time and one-on-ones, we all come back to the
kitchen table for tea time. This always
includes art, poetry, and cookies. This lasts about 20-30 minutes, and then the
kids are ready for some free play while I cook dinner.
After dinner, my husband usually comes home and there is
wrestling, golf or tennis in the backyard, something physical and....... loud lol Then it's bath, book, and bed time. My kids are in bed at 8 pm. We live away from family and do not have free
childcare, so it is essential that we keep strict bed times so that I can see
my husband and have conversations with him.
Monday nights are our check-in nights.
We always schedule this time. It
isn't a formal meeting, but it is a time where we check-in with each
other. We have to be very intentional
with our time and this "scheduled" time has worked well for us and
kept our marriage healthy.
Other evenings during the week, I will usually watch a show with my
husband before he heads to bed around 9:30/10, or I teach a night class. But when the house is quiet late at night, I am in Go Mode.
I don’t think I have always been an introvert, & I don’t
think I will be one forever; however, in this season of my life, while
homeschooling my young children and working, I am an introvert. I don’t get a
lot of time alone where I can refuel, & I
really need it. The only time
that I have found to refuel is when the world is sleeping. So I stay up late.
Like really late. I would rather be
sleep-deprived & sane, than rested & crazy. (sidebar- I attribute my
ability to work on little sleep to doctoral grad school). I see bedtime for my
house as “second morning” for me. I stay
up late because I want to answer emails for students, update lectures, prep
classroom activities, edit manuscripts, read scholarly journals, prepare advising
materials, to zone-out, to read a book, to be creative & write a blog post,
to mindlessly scroll through Facebook, to enjoy the silence, to laminate, or to prep the
next school day in peace. I find the
evening is when I'm most productive with preparation for school but also for my
own mental health. I typically head to
bed around 2 am.
After a day, whether it was a day I was at school or a day where
I was at home schooling, I have found that no matter what, I am educating. I am leading and teaching All. The. Time. I don't think it is something that I'm perfect at, but it does come natural to me. It is something I have been called to do and thus I work
hard at trying to be better and to serve more. I have great peace using the gift God gave me.
I never imagined that I would be a homeschooling mother. I never imagined that I would be a working
mother while juggling homeschool.
Sometimes I think I’m crazy to try and do it all. But then.
But then. But then, there are those
moments, where I see my children flourishing, and loving the learning
experience, and choosing to linger over subjects because it brings them joy and
they want to. And then I am encouraged, and I know that it isn't just about what I want, but what our family is called to do right now. I know that we have made the
right decisions to be jugglers. With a huge dose of patience, a dash of
flexibility, a deep desire for elaborate learning and critical thinking, and a
colossal quantity of Jesus, we are thriving accidental homeschoolers, and I
wouldn’t change a single thing.
