Around January 2015, when Dutch was 7 months old, I started feeling the Holy Spirit place on my heart the desire to start trying again for more children. The Mr. and I always talked about having a large family before our struggle with infertility and we just didn’t know if it would still be possible now with my age increasing and the amount of time (and money) it took to get Dutch. To be honest, I was really nervous about moving forward with building our family again, I was still super sleep-deprived and learning how to parent one baby, how could I possible add another? Then one day in March, out of the blue, the Mr. said to me “When are we going to have another baby? I think we’re ready.” Okay, so he is feeling the Holy Spirit too…….okay, maybe it IS time to expand the family. We discussed and prayed about it to make sure that this was God’s desire and not our own. We needed Him to psychologically prepare us for another tough road to fertility and truly provide for us in every way. It took 4 years for Dutch to be conceived so this could potentially be another long and tough battle. We knew that God had brought us through before and we just asked that He would do it again. We truly were buckling up for a bumpy road though. I was still exclusively breastfeeding and had only had one cycle 5 months prior so not being regular could hinder the process. I was not comfortable omitting breastmilk from Dutch’s diet just so that we could have another baby. To me that felt very selfish because I knew how many benefits he was getting from the milk. Plus, I was aware that nursing doesn’t prevent pregnancy (that is just a myth ladies!!!!) So I prayed to God that if He wanted it to work out, that I knew He could make it happen.
So at end of March we had confirmation that it was time to start trying to grow our family. To prepare my body this time of course I did all of the regular things (exercise, eat right, prenatal vitamins, blah blah blah you know the drill), but I also read and applied Feed Your Fertility by Emily Bartlett which removes all toxins from your environment (everything from changing your water source, cosmetics, cleaners, everything!). I figured even if this didn’t help us conceive they were still healthy measures to take to create a safer environment in our home. I also used three essential oils: I put SclarEssence behind my ears once a day, Ylang Ylang on my forearms twice a day, and EndoFlex on my heels once a day. These are all essential oils said to enhance hormonal health. (Important sidebar, make sure that you do your research and you are thoroughly aware of the effects of essential oils, their drug interactions, and impacts on the body. Please be well-informed and make sure that your physician is aware and supportive.) The first day I used these essential oils, my cycle arrived (this was too coincidental, or divine timing really, to go unnoticed especially when I typically have one cycle every couple years), so I started counting days. In April I “ovulated” for two weeks. This might sound good at first, but it really isn’t. When I started to see multiple days of “ovulation” I knew exactly where this was headed. This was exactly what would happen with Dutch: my body over produces so many hormones to get my body to ovulate, for days hormones are elevated getting positive ovulation predictor test, but an ovum (or egg) is never released. Again this was an indicator to me that this could be another long adventure for us and to mentally prepare myself for a lot of upcoming disappointment. We attempted to conceive on what we thought was day 14, we prayed that it would happen, but we honestly did not put a lot of eggs in the basket (hehe sorry I couldn’t help myself with that pun).
May 8th was Mother’s day and if I was pregnant I should know by then, but I purposefully didn’t take a test. I knew that if I wasn’t pregnant, or even if I was, it would take away from my first Mother’s Day with Dutch in my arms and I really just wanted to focus on him. So the next weekend, May 16th, it was a Saturday, we decided to take a test. It was one of those with the lines that change colors, not the digital kind. I took the test and brought it out of the bathroom and into the nursery where the Mr. was reading books with Dutch. I yelled, “Is that a second line?!” We both stared at it like old people. We moved it closer to our faces and then further away. Neither one of us wears glasses but if you were watching us try to read this test you would swear that we both needed bifocals.
“No, there is nothing there”
“Are you sure”
“Uh…maybe, right there?”
“No, we are seeing things, right?”
“Darby, why did you get this kind of test? You never get this kind. You hate this kind.”
“I don’t know. Do you see anything?”
“Maybe it needs more time?”
“It said 3 minutes?”
“Okay maybe let’s wait and try again later”
“Okay, good idea”
I had somewhere I needed to be that morning so the Mr was taking Dutch to the park, and they left so I could get ready. A few minutes after they left I heard them coming back through the door. I ran to the living room in full-on “Is everything okay?!” panic mom mode. The Mr. said he couldn’t stop thinking about the test so he went and got some digital tests. At this point we laughed at each other. Because I was out of urine, we both left (the boys to the park, and me to my event). As soon as I got home I said I would take the test. The entire time I was gone though, I knew that there were two lines on the test from earlier. I had that inner glimmer and I just knew. I don’t remember much of the event I attended; I was in a different world. I raced home and immediately took the test. In the bathroom I watched the test immediately change to “pregnant”. There was no need to wait the entire time. I came out of the bathroom in complete and utter shock. What just happened?!?!?!?! I was changing my clothes to go tell the Mr. the news when he ran into the bedroom. “So? So? What did it say?” (insert water works that could fill the entire Atlantic Ocean here) “We’re pregnant!” I think I scared the Mr. with the amount of crying I was doing. I was instantly ecstatic and petrified.
How were we going to do this?
How could I have done this to Dutch so soon? He wouldn’t understand having to share mommy!
How are we going to do this?!
How did this happen on the first try?!
How are we going to do this?!
Oh my gosh this happened on the first try!!!!
The first try?!?!
Oh. my. goodness…..the first try?!I joyfully cried and freaked out in the arms of my husband. We knelt at the end of our bed and prayed to the Lord enormous gratitude and begged for His provision again. I am so glad that with both babies we have hit the ground on our knees and thanked the Lord for the opportunities He has granted us to raise His children within minutes of discovering I was carrying our babies. What an honor and huge responsibility that we cherish. We try our best to give all of our worries and fears to Him immediately, and ask for wisdom and guidance in growing these babies. It amazes us that God could give us another baby so quickly especially when we were really bracing for a long tough road. God once again gave us these babies and maybe He used tools (“resetting” my body, the essential oils, or the changes in our environment) to further His plan, but ultimately it was His, and only His, doing. It was His plan for us to conceive when we did and we are so very grateful, and recognize this blessing.
Over the next couple weeks I took 4 more pregnancy tests because my mind still couldn't believe it, and quite honestly I felt so good (little did I know that would quickly change lol). Before we started trying to conceive, I mentioned to the Mr. that it would be so cool if it happened on the first try so that when Kellyn, my sister, came to Houston for Dutch’s first birthday we could tell her then and I even thought of a fun way to tell her of our hypothetical baby. I actually prayed for that lol Well the Lord was listening; He is always listening! So as soon as we found out that we were expecting again, I ordered Dutch a “Soon to be Big Brother” t-shirt to execute the surprise for my sister. The day Kellyn arrived in Houston, my stomach was in knots; I was so excited. I could not wait to see her reaction. When we told her about Dutch, she had just flown into Houston also and that night we surprised her with a “Great sisters get promoted to Aunts” coffee mug…..and we were going to follow through with the same type of idea (if we have any other babies we are going to have to get really creative, because I think she might be on to us now lol). So I told her that I laid out Dutch’s jammies (the big brother tshirt) in his room so that she could get him ready for bed. She was in his room for a really long time, and I started wondering if everything was okay. When she came out smiling I knew she got it. What a fun way to surprise her! I’m so glad that she was the first to know about our newest addition.
Surprising Kellyn about Little Peep (left), and telling her about Teeny Peep (right)
Thanks Kellyn for letting me steal these pictures from your Facebook page ;-)
We told the grandparents a couple weeks later and then spilled the beans a few weeks after that. I promise we are still in shock of the Lord’s goodness to our family. And we are so thrilled and excited about this new adventure. Thank you all for your warm wishes and prayers for our growing family; we appreciate it more than we could ever express!
Hugging our Teeny Peep