Friday, November 18, 2016

I'm Not Old Enough

Does anyone else feel like this?
Do you ever look at yourself in the mirror and shock yourself?
Like truly see a person that you're not sure you actually know?
I don't know if this ever happens to you, but sometimes I think back to what I thought was "old" when I was a kid and now that I've arrived at "old" I realize how young I still am.  
I don't have a problem with the concept of aging, but "old" wasn't really old. Or maybe I've got a new idea of what "old" is and when I arrive at that age I will change my definition of old again.
I remember one year for Halloween I was a Granny to go trick or treating.  What kid does that?! I was a weird kid!
Sometimes I feel like I am a 10 year old trapped in the body of someone much older.  
And then sometimes I think about the decisions I have to make and the responsibilities I have worked hard for and I think to myself "Darby you are not old enough for this".
Where I am at now, just seemed so far away, but is now here. 
Maybe that's a good thing, and I am still a child at heart and yearn for the mentality and innocence of a child?
  Maybe it means I still have so much left ahead of me?
Maybe I'm in some major denial, and I really am old enough?
Maybe sometimes we really are never old enough for the weight and responsibilities of this world?
Or maybe that's a built in plan for us to seek the Father and to be more dependent upon Him because we will never be "old enough" to handle earthly responsibilities?
"Cast your burden upon the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken"
Psalm 55:22
 

1 comment:

Brandy Bruce said...

I always feel shocked by my age. But I love my life stage right now, so it's never a sad shock!

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