Wednesday, August 6, 2014

No Fall Please

No Fall PleaseI am a fall person.  You know it, I know it, the man on the moon knows it!  I love the season…the leaves, the food, the sports (oh how I love the football), the festivities & holidays, my pumpkin spice lattes, and the fashion (I have way too many boots to be living in Houston).

But not this year.  I’m not looking forward to fall. Not at all. 

For the first time in years, I’m loving summer and in denial that fall is right around the corner.

You see “fall” is synonymous with “work” in my mind right now.  I can’t believe that my 3.5 months of my maternity leave are almost over.  I just can’t believe it.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t like my job (I still really love & enjoy the work that I do), but I am not ready to leave my sweet little boy at home while I’m away during the day.  Just the thought of it brings unbelievably large crocodile tears to my eyes.  I’m not ready, and I’ll probably never be ready for it (not for his first day of kindergarten, or college, or his wedding day….none of it!).  Dutch and I have been attached, literally, for over a year.  Not having him with me all day every day makes my heart just ache and my stomach fall to my feet.

I know that I’m going to blubber my way all the way to school that first day back (let me be honest here, we all know that those crying sessions are going to occur more than just the first day).  I know that this is going to be a huge learning curve from everything to learning to juggle working outside of the home with motherhood and being a wife, to accepting that I am not going to be perfect or an overachiever in any area of my life.  I’ve got a lot of lessons that I’m getting ready to start learning.

If you have done this before, please share your tips with me.  What will make this easier for Dutch? What will make this easier for me?  Please say a prayer for us if you get a chance while we prepare for this transition. 

For now, I’m embracing every single hot day in Houston this summer.  I am NOT complaining about the heat.  I am NOT filling my agenda with “to do’s” and extra events.  I am NOT freaking out about meeting deadlines.  I am NOT counting down the hours of baby snuggles; I’m cherishing them.  I’m staying around the house in my pj’s all day loving on my baby.

7 comments:

Jessica said...

Have you left him at all yet? It was so hard for me the first couple times... I know I don't work outside the home, so my thoughts may not be helpful, but what if you start small? Instead of leaving for work that first day all day, try a few hours at a time (before work starts). I know you want to take advantage of every second, but maybe you will both be a little more ready if you kind of do "practice" days where you leave him for a little longer each time..? I don't know, that's all I can think of! The only thing that makes it easier to leave them is to just get used to leaving them with somebody else. I can't believe your maternity leave is almost over! It seems like you just announced your pregnancy!

Kellyn Fleming said...

Man, this made me tear up reading about it, so I can't imagine what it is like to be living it. I will definitely be adding this in to my prayers and hoping it will be as easy and as smooth a transition as possible for the whole family. One good thing to be able to look forward to about fall is a certain visit, from a certain auntie! :) Love you guys!

Anne W said...

No tips. Lots of prayers and good thoughts. I cried every day for the longest, Mondays being the worst.
What helped me was when I pumped I would watch videos of him. the noises he made, the faces, even just him sleeping. Made me tear up but it helped. :)

Meg O. said...

It sucks, mama. It really does. But I will say that it gets much easier with time. I'm already dreading November and that's 3 months away!!!

Jessica K said...

I actually remember this like it was yesterday. I went through it twice as we switched her situation at 9 months.. ANYWAY! I would suggest small outings now. So you can start to feel now. Grocery store. Starbucks run. Something. That first day will be hard. He will be okay, you won't be. Keep your day busy, so it will go fast. My struggle came more when I thought I was missing everything. Literally. I remember calling my mom telling her that Addie wouldn't know I was her mom...ect. ect. Hormones much? I was a mess. I can say it gets easier. They get excited to see you. They eventually talk your ear off about their days. Then the weekends and days off are so much more cherished. You will get through this momma!Put a box of Kleenex in the front seat, and wear waterproof mascara. I will be praying for your comfort and peace as you adjust to working mom life!

sherri lynn said...

enjoy your moments with your sweet little one, pretty mama!! i will pray that your transition in going back to work isn't as rough as you are anticipating. i'm sure it will be so hard to leave dutch!!

Samantha Crowell said...

Darby, this is one of the hardest things you will ever do, but remember it's hardest for you and that Dutch is fine!! I suggest leaving him something to snuggle that smells like you. It also helps me to call and talk to the babies while I'm working so they know I'm still with them. I don't know if you have the ability to do that but it eases me. Also, whenever you get real emotional, take that time to go pump! The drs say the more hormonal you are, the more you'll produce, as it is. Xoxo

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