Monday, November 11, 2013

Telling the Mr. About Little Peep

Friends, I cannot even begin to tell you how excited the Mr. and I are about the pending arrival of Little Peep.  “Excited” really doesn’t even do it justice.  We want to thank every single person that commented on our announcement post, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, email, text, and calls……we feel so loved and we are so encouraged by your prayers and kind words.  The outpouring of your love just makes us even more thrilled to continue the beginning of this journey, but please keep those prayers coming!

In the next coming weeks I will be sharing about our years of struggles with infertility.  While this post has been in my draft box for about two years, I still don’t think I’m ready to share it.  It’s probably definitely the deepest post I’ve ever written, and I feel like I just need to pray about it a little more before I share that part of our story.  So today, I just want to share with you about how we found out that Little Peep was on the way.

We found out on Sunday, September 22, 2013.  I was late, but I am never regular so that was nothing new.  The previous cycle had really done a number on me psychologically and physically.  We had switched over to new hormones and I thought for sure we had conceived in July; I had so many symptoms and was so excited.  But as you know, the higher the expectations, the more the words “Not Pregnant” sting on a plastic home pregnancy test.  So in September when I was late and didn’t have a single symptom, besides no cycle, I decided I just didn’t want to take the test.  I just didn’t want to read it again; I didn’t want to be hurt again.  So that Friday (9/20) we went to a wine tasting (because I was sure I wasn't pregnant…God is so funny sometimes when He humbles me).  Saturday (9/21) at our date night, the Mr. told me that he thought we should buy a test because "tests being expensive" wasn’t a good reason not to (this was the reason I blamed for not really wanting to take a test.  If I'm being honest here, we all know I just didn't want to get hurt by the words "Not Pregnant" again.  But seriously, I didn’t want to take a test if my cycle was just going to come anyways, those little boogers are the most expensive pieces of plastic that women pee on just to throw away!)  When I look back now, I should have realized I was pregnant for a few reasons: I fell asleep during a Steelers game the Monday before (this never happens folks), I was exhausted every evening though I thought that was due to my work load increase, I was easily agitated, and I was craving meat (I even had pepperonis for breakfast one morning).

Sunday morning (9/22) the Mr. got up early to walk the dogs.  When he left I got up to take the test, so that I could hurry up and cry at the “Not Pregnant” before he got back.   I had been mentally preparing myself for the BFN (Big Fat Negative; this is what those who suffer from infertility have to do, mentally prepare ourselves for seeing the worst again).  I just stared at the test sitting on the window in the bathroom, anticipating another cry fest, but this time I got a different answer.  When “Pregnant” came across the screen the only thing I could do was to hit my knees crying and praying.  I just spent the next 15 minutes crying and praising God on the bathroom floor.  I’m so glad God doesn’t care where we pray.  I prayed and prayed thanking God; this was all His doing.  Not mine, not the Mr’s, not the doctors, not the hormones.  This was HIS timing.  I wanted to surprise the Mr. some way….even though he purchased the test the night before, so I brushed my teeth really fast (and as best I could because I was shaking like you would not believe), and got to work on his surprise.

Four years ago when we decided to start trying for a baby I bought the Mr. a football burb cloth, swaddle blanket, and onesie.  I just kept moving it from closet to closet over the years as we waited.  But before the Mr. got back from the walk I dug out that box and wrapped the positive pregnancy test in the items.  When he got back I told him that I found a Christmas present as I was cleaning out the office closet that I forgot to give him (at this point we were remodeling my office, and it’s not unusual for me to find Christmas presents later in the year because I hide them so well I forget them). So he opened it and I will never forget the look on his face; it was joy, fear, shock, excitement, surprise, all at the same time.  So we went to our bedroom, knelt by our bed and just prayed to God for this blessing.  Then we went to a couple grocery stores for more tests and a doughnut shop because what's great news without doughnuts?!  When all of the other tests quickly came back positive, we prayed some more, got ready for church and that was that.  This day, 9/22/13, was one of the most special days we’ve ever experienced as husband and wife, and we rejoice in the years of struggle that we have waited through for this day. 

September 22, 2013 was when one journey came to an end (for now), and the next journey begins.  We feel so blessed, and we are so grateful for this opportunity.  We take every single day with this baby as a gift and we embrace this life.  Thank you again for the prayers, please keep them coming!

24 comments:

Haylee said...

oh Darby! It still brings tears to my eyes! You are going to be such a wonderful mommy! I'm still praying and will continue for a long time b/c the worry doesn't stop after the pregnancy!!:)

Lauren said...

Four years, wow. What a loved and wanted and desired baby! The fact that amid the surprise and joy you thought of a great way to share the news is super impressive and so sweet!

Ashley Bouwer said...

Your post just made me cry...we also struggled with infertility and I still remember October 8, 2012. Seeing that positive pregnancy test and dropping to my knees praising God for this wonderful blessing. My sweet boy is 5 months old and I still find myself tearing up at night when I hold him because I waited so long for this. (And p.s. I also worked at HBU for 5 years until we moved to Tyler last year - such a small world!)

Bree said...

Awww Darbs!!! I'm over here with tears in my eyes. I am so unbelievably happy for you guys. You two are going to be the most wonderful parents, and that baby is going to be so loved.
God has a plan for everything, and I know He has his hand on you two and has everything with this pregnancy under His control. He is so good!

xoxo

Joy said...

I love the joy in this post! It's in funny how God knows exactly what we need and when we need it. So thankful He has blessed the Hawley family with this little addition.

Jennifer Leible said...

That is an amazing story and brought a flood of emotions as I read it! I can't wait to keep reading more about it. Thanks for sharing!

Jessica K said...

I love it! I don't know all of your pain, as we are just beginning our infertility journey, but to see the BFN, it's more than a kick on the stomach every time. I love that you are finally getting to experience this wonderful thing. Prayers will continue so you can have a H&H pregnancy!

Jessica said...

so beautiful. this put me right back to the day we found out about Lydia! pregnancy is such a gift. we prayed for a year and a half for her. i don't know the struggles you went through, but i do know the joy of finding out you are getting the desire of your heart! december 17th, 2011 was our day. i am so glad yours came!!!! i had no idea of this struggle you've been through, but i do look forward to you sharing and learning more about what you've been through.

Cari said...

Even though I just met you...this post brought tears to my eyes, I am so excited for you. I cant wait to follow w. you on your journey!!

Brooke @ Pieces of the Reese Life said...

Seriously brought tears to my eyes! So happy for you two! :)

xo, Brooke

Lauren said...

Your story is so touching, Darby. It brought tears to my eyes as I read it. It's evident how much you and your husband wanted this baby and I am so very happy for you both. Congratulations, again!

Meg O. said...

Hey, thanks for making me cry here in my classroom. Thank goodness it's lunch. Such a sweet post and what a great way to surprise the mister! I had no idea you guys were trying for so long. I am SOOOOO happy for you!

Vicki Kraeger said...

So happy for you! Can't wait to meet him or her someday!

sherri lynn said...

Darby this post brought tears to my eyes!! I love that you spent the first few minutes of this wonderful news and a new journey of your life praising God.. you are such a godly example my friend! I can't even begin to tell you how happy I am for you!! When I saw your special delivery pictures I about died!! You will best the best momma!! Sooooo happy for you my friend!!

Emily said...

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3
What a blessing the little peep is. :) SO happy for y'all. GOD IS SO GOOD.
Thanks for sharing your touching story sister. DZLAM.

Laura Darling said...

I am so happy for you guys! This is wonderful news and your post announcing it was just darling!

Myra said...

I literally have tears in my eyes! It's beautiful how God's timing works. I will continue to keep you all in my prayers as you begin your newest journey, love! Please remember to keep praying for those who are still struggling!

ari @whatarisaid.wordpress.com said...

Aw Darby, I am SO happy for you and what a sweet, thoughtful way to tell your husband. I am so excited for you, I know you're going to be a wonderful mother too!

Heidi said...

Your baby is going to be sooo loved! That is so sweet how you told your husband. Maybe the wine tasting was for celebration. :)

Eliza said...

Oh my, this was such a sweet emotional post. I struggled with this but no where near as long. I can't even imagine the pain as I only got a tiny taste of it. And that tiny taste was enough for me to never ever wish that pain on anyone ever. I've wondered over the past few years if this was something you were struggling with. I remember one of your comments on my blog when I was first pregnant with Cruze and you mentioned that you couldn't wait for your announcement one day. My mind went back to that comment time and time again for almost two and a half years. I was waiting for your announcement too. So so happy for you Darby! You are going to make the most amazing mother and trust me, the best is yet to come.

Bet said...

Darby,
I'm so happy for Phil and you!!! xoxoxo

Britt R said...

The photos were beyond beautiful and amazing! I am so happy for y'all ! Baby Hawley is going to be so loved!!

Pamela Graves said...

So very happy for you - praying for easy months ahead while you await your sweet bundle of joy!

Jamie said...

I've got some seriously wet tears in my eyes Darby! Congratulations, dear! I'll pray for a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby - you so deserve both. :)

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