Wednesday, March 21, 2018

I See You Mama

At the end of the summer we took the kids fishing to a park we go to all the time.  Us, silly us (the not parents of the year), forgot water and food in 1000 degree heat.  So about 5 minutes after getting there, the boys set up camp and Ellis and I made the trek back to the truck to go get food and water to bring back.  But as I walked back around the pond to the car, I walked by family after family with young children.  This day has been replaying in my mind for months now.  I see you mama- Life with the Hawleys
Each family had a child that was screaming, whining, being disobedient, disrespectful, and quite honestly, really unpleasant.  Each parent looked exhausted but hopeful.  I saw the eyes of each parent.  They were trying their best.  They were trying to make memories and provide the best for their child.  They were praying for patience.  They were diving deep into their souls for the most compassion & understanding that they could muster.

I was so happy to see each family like that.  Not that I was happy to see that they were struggling, no way (I honestly wish at least one of us was having a pleasant trip to the pond lol).  Instead I was encouraged because I felt like I was part of a group.  I was not, and am not, alone in my own struggles as a parent.  I saw how tired each mother was, and in my mind I threw her an epic high-five.  I have thought of that day so often since last summer because I know that all parents, at every stage, is struggling in some way; we’re struggling together in this thing called parenthood. Yet, we can continue on, and we can encourage one another.  James 1-2-4
For a few months last spring, it seemed like we entered the phase of development where Dutch would get frustrated when he couldn't communicate what he was trying to say or a feeling he was experiencing.  Considering how much the boy talks, it was not normal that he couldn't find the words to say, but occasionally it happened.  Instead of saying what he couldn't say, he just whined, “Nooooooooooo”.  I applied my best detective skills to uncover what was bothering him, but many times I failed.  And sometimes I lost my patience or I forgot to have compassion, but then…..

But then.

I think about my relationship with God.  How many times have I screamed “Noooooooo” at God? How many times have I turned my back for selfish reasons?  How many times have I been frustrated with His will? Yet, He is still there.  He is still there filled with compassion for me despite my disobedience.  This gives me patience and strength (Psalm 18:1) and reminds me of the a privilege I have to be in that phase with Dutch, and the other parents at the pond.  We are not alone on this earth or separated from God.  And each stage, as difficult as it might seem, will be over soon and something else will be challenging.  That is how parenting is, that is how LIFE is; we move from one guaranteed season of trial to the next (John 16:33).  And it is through the presence of Christ, that we can find hope (Isaiah 40:30-31).  And that we can come along side each other and do life together, to be encouraged, and feel accompanied instead of alone in seasons of struggle. To walk around a pond with compassion instead of judgment.John 16-33
So mama, I just want to remind you, that I SEE you.  I see your weariness, emptiness in struggle, disappointing & unpleasant trip to the pond, your desire to be your best for someone else, and I see how empty your coffee cup is.  BUT, you are not alone.  I am sitting next to you in those struggles, but more importantly, Christ is with you.  And you are simply radiant in that phase of your life.  Here is my epic high-five to you.  If I could pour you another cup of coffee, I would, but instead I'm just praying that today is a good day, that you have patience when you need them, that you are offered grace when you lose your cool, and that you are filled with the peace that passes all understanding. Love you mama!
xoxo Darby

1 comment :

Nadine Lynn said...

LOVE THIS! I pray for patience all the time. And I feel in total solidarity with other moms out there as we push our whiny kids through Target, shaking whatever is in our carts at them hoping to gain just a few more minutes to finish shopping :)

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