Monday, February 15, 2016

Coming Up For Air- Life with 2 under 2

Now that Ellis is almost a month old, I feel like it’s safe to say that I am officially a mom of two kiddos and it’s time that I report back on what life with two kiddos is like.  When Ellis was conceived, and Dutch was only 10 months old, my very first feelings were elation….but that very very quickly began to change. I started to worry about what life would be like with two babies under the age of 2.  Quite honestly I started to freak out.  I was so scared!

-How was I going to juggle the needs of two babies?
-How could I give them both the attention they need?
-How would I be able tell one child to wait while I attended to the more urgent needs of the other?
-Would my body be able to care for two children while under extreme sleep deprivation?
-How would I go to the grocery store? What gets unloaded into the car first: kids or groceries?!
-Would both of my children feel loved? Would one feel neglected? favored?
-How was I going to be able to juggle two babies without any help from family?
-How could I be a mom to two kiddos and still have enough energy at the end of the day to be a wife to the Mr?
-Could my heart even expand enough to love them all?!

I was very aware that I was not the first mama to go through this so I started reading blogs, books, and talking with other mamas with two children under the age of two.  I wanted to mentally prepare myself for the extreme challenge I was about to embark on.  And I can completely and honestly say:

I WAS WRONG!

-Maybe I’m still in the “honeymoon phase” and it’s too early to say?
-Maybe I just expected the absolute worst possible experience?  I am usually an optimist but this sounds really pessimistic?
-Maybe I just really prepared myself?
-Maybe I was blessed with a good batched of kiddos?

Yes I am familiar with the very natural worries of growing a family, but that’s all they were for me.  I had a lot of apprehension and it was all for nothing.  Life with two under two is WONDERFUL!  I absolutely love it!  Having two children is ah-maz-ing…..and having them so close together is a greater blessing than I could have ever imagined.

-Yes, everything is different.
-Yes, I’m sleep deprived.
-Yes, everything requires more planning than before.
-Yes, I’m jugging too many things and my mommy brain has reached an all-time stupid level, and I can’t even remember what time I got up to nurse last night…even though it was less than 3 hours ago (I think).
-Yes, I’m hooked up to a machine pumping more than I would like.
-Yes, life is so cyclical it’s hilarious: nurse baby, burp baby, nap baby, play with 1 year old, feed 1 year old, nap 1 year old, cook, laundry, clean house, feed dogs, shower (maybe)……REPEAT (fit sleep in when possible).

You know, ALL of my worries actually came TRUE, but it isn’t nearly as terrifying as I thought it would be.  In fact, it’s heavenly. Of course my 1 year acts like a 1 year old, and of course my newborn acts like a newborn……they aren’t exempt from natural behaviors.  But seriously, life is so good with my 2 young babies at home.  Even though things are very different, life is sweet these days.   I am in full-blown heaven on earth and I absolutely love my job as a mama to Dutch and Ellis.  Every worry turned out to be completely true and tough, but not impossible.  I think I lacked faith in my ability to mother and I forgot how resilient and quickly children learn.  Nothing has been impossible, it has simply take more time and effort.  For example, I was most nervous about juggling……well God, again, had a funny way of teaching that lesson to us quickly.  Less than 12 hours after Ellis was born we got a text with a picture of nasty boogers coming out of Dutch’s ears (yes, “ears”, NOT, “nose”).  Well that isn’t normal :-/  So from my hospital bed I was calling Dutch’s surgeon from last summer and coordinating with the pharmacist to get him his meds and then figuring out how to get the meds to him since we were in the hospital.  Then as soon as we got home, Dutch sprained his ankle, got a black eye, and started getting 3 new teeth.  So yea, life is tougher, and we’re juggling more, but the watercolor of our home is much more colorful, fun, and covered in love.

God has answered our prayers for children, and He has gifted us with more patience, strength, and energy than we ever could have imagined possible.  We consistently pray that He will continue with these provisions, otherwise we would be failing so much more in our roles as parents.  We are SOOOO grateful for the prayers from others and those that have brought us meals and watched Dutch while we were in the hospital.  We could NEVER have transitioned so smoothly to a family of 6 (of course, I can't forget our 2 four-legged family members) without my amazing bestie……she is an angel!

Friends, it has taken me a week to write this post and as I write it, I’m not sure when my last shower was, there is a baby napping in his crib and one on my lap, laundry is all over the dining room table, and I should be getting dinner prepped for tonight (oops!).  I have a bazillion drafts to finish writing for you, but I am still behind and lack routine. I dare not rush this phase of life as it goes too quickly, so I will sit still and embrace this chaotic and magical chapter in our lives, because it is spectacular!
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For more pictures of our life lately, you can follow us on Instagram!
xoxo Darby
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